Fullmetal Meets Fowl
by Taneya
Summary: When Edward Elric tries to sacrifice his life to restore his younger brother, he finds out how truly strange the Gate of Alchemy is. Instead of taking his life, it takes him to a new world. Where does he end up? Fowl Manor. FMA/Artemis Fowl crossover
1. An Alchemist's Arrival

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Artemis Fowl. I am not nearly smart enough to come up with Artemis' brilliant plots.

Fullmetal Meets Fowl

Chapter One: An Alchemist's Arrival

He put his arms on his chest, covering the array he had drawn there. A soft, electric-blue glow filtered through the cracks in between his fingers; the arrays on his forehead and on the backs of his hands glowed in a similar way, as did the massive, complex circle beneath his feet. The alchemic light rose up from the floor, and his long blond hair rose and swayed. The air crackled and shimmered with pure energy, all concentrated on the blond, shirtless boy standing in the middle of the matrix, its ancient origins seeming to add his own alchemic power. The light continued to grow stronger and brighter, losing its color until it was pure white. It made its way even through his closed eyelids, and a small, sad smile made its way on his face.

'Alphonse…' he thought. 'You won't disappear.' The light filled the room, and when it faded, the boy was gone.

Artemis Fowl the Second frowned as he glared at the screen of his laptop, the glowing screen casting an electric blue light that was reflected in the youth's piercing, equally blue eyes.

"Butler," the pale youth said flatly. His slim fingers quickly tapped at the sleek black keys of his laptop with the ease of long practice. A new window opened on the screen even as Artemis kept typing. He had pale skin, like a vampire; his hair was coal black and swept back from his brow in a dignified, aristocratic manner. His electric blue eyes were narrowed at the screen, and his lips were carved into a slight expression of displeasure along with his thin, dark eyebrows that arched gracefully above his cerulean eyes. He wore an expensive, well-tailored suit along with Armani loafers. He sat regally in a swivel chair in front of a large, mahogany desk.

"Would you please go the top shelf on the end of that book case and get me the book Last Generation?" Artemis said is his soft, smooth voice.

"Of course, Master Artemis." The speaker was a giant of man, the type you'd expect to get charged by a rhinoceros and merely stand there, punching it in the face and sending it skidding back at the last possible moment. He was the type you'd expect to pull a shotgun out of his jacket, use it up, and bring out hand-cannon. He was the type you'd expect to step on a plane only to find the poor metal craft couldn't support his weight. He was clean-shaven on both his face and his head, and was dressed smartly in a dark black suit.

Butler stepped away from his post by the doorframe and strode over to the bookcase, the distance being eaten up quickly by a few enormous strides. Butler ran his finger along the bookshelf, gently pulling out the chosen book as his eyes rested on the title on its spine printed in faded gold leaf. He placed the book in Artemis' waiting hand before ­­­reclaiming his place by the door.

A loud thump and the slight tremor that followed provoked no immediate action other than a pause in Artemis' typing. "Butler?" One word was all that was needed. The large man reached into his jacket and pulled out a pistol that was dwarfed by his large hands. Butler quickly walked over the desk and stood a little behind his young charge, leaning over slightly to look at the new screen the youth had brought up on the screen. It was divided into several sections, showing live video feed from all over Fowl Manor. Two sets of eyes scanned the screen, before the blue eyes landed on an irregularity. A single pale finger pointing to the spot drew the bodyguard's eyes as well. A small, unmoving figure was lying on its side in a room that was—conveniently?—just a few doors down the hall from the room they were currently in. It was shirtless, and one arm seemed to be…possibly metal. The—obviously male, despite the long hair—was blond, and wearing black pants, black boots, and a wide brown belt.

When a thorough examination of the screen revealed no other intruders or irregularities, Artemis rose from his chair.

"Let's pay our new guest a little visit, shall we?"


	2. Dreaming

Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist or Artemis Fowl, I would probably not be writing fanfiction. I _might_ be though. You never know.

Fullmetal Meets Fowl

Chapter Two: Dreaming

_The blackberries were ripe and perfect, and the sun was shining beautifully blue. The stars were twinkling bright white-purple, mirroring the blackberry flowers above. _

"_Alphonse!" Edward called, beckoning him with a hand. "Al, you sloth, everyone else is already here! Even Roy got here on time!" Roy smiled wryly at him from his seat on a large pumpkin, his lips purple with blackberry juice. His hair fell in a brackish black spray to his shoulders like tree needles. His uniform was torn and riddled with broken-off thorns from wading through the blackberries, but overall he wasn't much worse for wear. Izumi sat on the other side of the pumpkin from Roy, facing away from him as she ripped entire vines of blackberries out from their thorny protections before quickly picking off the berries and popping them in her rosy mouth._

He ran a cold hand over his own ribs, wincing at the motion.

"_Al!" Edward called again with a happy laugh. His arm left arm was linked with Winry's right, her left hand snatching blackberries from their vines as Edward did the same with his right. Al was running across the star-strewn ground, following the path of the white rushing river as twinkling blue mist flew from its surface. His blond hair whipped around in the wind, and his young face was split almost in two with the size of his smile._

"_Ed!" Al called in his slightly echoing voice. As he reached the blackberry meadow, he threw himself at Edward and gathered him into his arms. There were a few metallic clanking noises where he touched Edward's arm, but neither of them minded. Edward ruffled his hair, and the cacophonous tinkling and scraping it produced drew Izumi's attention to them. She flew to them from her spot on the pumpkin, and pulled them both close to her body in a grip so tight it almost hurt._

Everything hurt, but nothing more than his head. It pounded with his pulse, so loudly nothing else could…

"_Fullmetal!" Roy called from the pumpkin. He lobbed a package at him, and Edward pulled away from Izumi to catch it. It was a silver gun, painted with red flames, inside a leather gun-packet._

"_Thanks, Roy!"_

"_Here, Ed!" Al chirped, handing him a packet of powder bullets. Edward bit it to test its quality, then smiled at his brother._

"_You're a live saver!"_

He… had he saved Al? Had… he…?

_Winry sloppily kissed his cheek and used her wrench to load the gun with some of the powder bullets._

_YOU HAVE OBTAINED __**ANTHRAX GUN**_

_CONTINUE?_

"I… want to live…"

"_You shall." Edward raised his head to see a pale boy with eyes like chips of stone._

"I don't… wanna die… like this…"

"_There is no reason you would. Aside from lacking a couple of your original limbs, you seem to be a near-perfect picture of health." Edward narrowed his eyes, and Alphonse reached over and rubbed the back of his neck in an attempt to soothe him. His hand was cold._

"_I don't like you," Edward decided, and shot him._

"Not Alphonse, right?"

_No, not Alphonse. The other one._

"Oh. Good, I guess?"

"_What's going on?" Edward screamed. Izumi placed a finger to her mouth to signal 'quiet', and then slapped him across the face with a loud, harsh sound._

"That seems out of order, don't you think."

_No. You're fine. Everything's fine._

_**ANTHRAX GUN**__ HAS BACKFIRED_

_CONTINUE?_

_YOU HAVE TWO LIVES REMAINING_

"_Don't waste them," Roy said, kissing his brow._

Edward woke with a scream starting in his throat and stars in his eyes.

"Where am I? Where's Al? Al? Al!" He tried to get up, but between his current half-blindness and the handcuffs keeping his arms attached to the bed frame, this proved a difficult endeavor. "What's going on?" he gasped hysterically. He didn't dare try any alchemy; his mind was far too hazy and he was too exhausted to handle the energy properly. He'd end up mixing himself into the transmutation, likely as not.

"_Calm yourself. You will not be harmed if you make no trouble,_" said a voice in a language he could not understand. It didn't sound like Xingese, or even Drachnan. What language could it be, what could it be saying, and why was Edward attached to a bed?

"I don't know what the hell you're saying, so start talking in a way I can understand or shove off," Edward barked, looking around frantically as his vision slowly (hurry up, _dammit_) cleared.

"_Well, that may pose a problem,_" the voice said, sounding bemused. Edward snarled at it.

~~/~~/~~/~~/~~

"Butler, do you recognize the language our guest is speaking? I find myself at something of a loss," Artemis spoke from his seat at the monitors. The intercom was currently off, but they were still capable of hearing the blond intruder's unintelligible but obviously incensed speech. Butler shook his bald head.

"It sounds vaguely Germanic, but I can't recognize the language itself. I am unsure I have heard it before."

"I also found this to be the case. We will have to speak a few words to him in every known language that you and I are not fluent in." Artemis called up a few windows on another screen, then spoke into the monitor, "Tena yistelegn." There was no special reaction to this. "Kaixo. Kia orana. Tansi. Gamardjoba. Hallo. Moïen. Asham…"

After exhausting several online references, various books, and the combined lingual knowledge of both Artemis and Butler, the young Fowl was forced to admit defeat.

Inside the "guest room", the blond young man had started biting his handcuffs, shrieking things that Artemis—despite his ignorance of the man's language—could easily guess were no longer words.

Artemis narrowed his eyes at the screen, frowning slightly. "It seems we will have to resort to extreme measures."

-..-..-..-..-

Next chapter: "Tongues"


End file.
